Match Reports - New Immolation Inititive

[Malks]

From tonights games, I'm going to get the clans to write a match report.
This job can be given to anyone in the clan who feels like writing it. It should talk a bit about the match, say good things more than it says bad things. Comment on players of the match, special tactics. whether you started on time. Performance of the server and all that shit.

Not every clan needs to do one, It is the responsibility of the home team but if they other team wishes to write it they are welcome to so long as the clan leader for the home team agrees.

EMPIRE has some experience with this from playing in TFC comps back in the day so we'll wait for them to take the lead tonight!

It needs to be like, 10 lines or so, not very difficult.

That person should also post up the screenies from the various maps!

It'll give us some cool content for the main page and also create some good discussion.

Cheers guys!

[Crowbar]

Would be cool for the writer to use quotes from his team mates from their after match discussion too.

[Drbacon]

and everyone needs to remember, grammar is FTW!

[Crowbar]

Do you mean grammar is for the win?

[Squiddy]

lol irl at that irony

[LinkJKL]

I'm interested to hear some quotes from 214 after match discussion. XD

[Crowbar]

I think PPN/Beard should write it!

[TheBeard]

My computer crashed midway through the only round I was playing so I don't think I could write an accurate account of what transpired.

I could, however, write a completely fictitious account, with humor galore, and put downs for everybody including people who weren't even playing.

Also. Let it be said now that no-one from 214 used the already established quote of "How can one man be so retarded" to reference an individual playing for our team during last nights match. And that's a bit of a miracle.

[LizzardFestations]

Perhaps I'll write one next time, for now I'll quote approximately half to all of our players going into the second map:
"Someone pass the lube", actually I think he said "Can you guys plese use more loob" (although he is dyslexic so we'll let him off for his poor spelling :p)
gg

[Spartak]

I would but I cbf atm

I delegate this task to our communications officer Frio.

[frio]

After a week of some fairly decent matches and smacktalking eS, spirits were high for the EMPIRE boys rolling into their second match of Immolation. We'd practised, we had ample players available on the night, we had strats to run and we had Spartak's girly voice to guide us. All would be well.

Unfortunately, VIDEOGAME PLAYER and ADMINISTRATOR "Squiddy" said "ready" on granary before we had a full loadout of 8, and we had to swap someone in. Of course, they were swapped in two rounds late and Hex rolled us 2-0 in the opening plays of Granary. We consoled ourselves with this, knowing it was pretty obviously the lack of a player that led to that loss. We then got one up on Hex, taking it to 2-1. Of course, they'd just gone down a player at this stage, but HappyCamper's protestations were greeted with EMPIRE's dastardly players telling him to "fuck up". The next few rounds were homosexual and gay as Granary turned out to be the shitfest everyone had predicted after Valve's changes, with the opening minute of play deciding the entire round. While the map finished early (a timeleft showed 4min 30s left, and the map finished after Hex capped out again a minute from them), in all fairness Hex outplayed us and deserved the 5-3 win. I'd have to give man of the match to Gambit, their intrepid scout, but that's really only because he managed to kill malice and then die to my scattergun - which totally made me look better than malice and therefore totally made me look cool.

Gravelpit opened with EMPIRE on defense, and frio getting benched. As I was still relatively pissed from hitting the pub earlier, I took this chance to take a soothing bathroom break and missed the excitement of the first few minutes of play. Suffice it to say neither team ever attempted to defend A (which I think will change as the tournament goes on), drama went down at B, and those sneaky bastards Hex capped out confidently. In the throes of EMPIRE's first offensive round, Hex lost some player or something meaning Cheeps sat idle in our base on our offensive round and tried to figure out how to improve his extreme rocketjump skillz. This was a dramatic turn of events as he stopped idling after 4min 59s, not 5min, meaning EMPIRE should technically have been disqualified the cheating bastards! EMPIRE swept through with a full complement of players to Hex's 7, taking the offensive round to 1-1.

The next round was boring/I don't remember it so suffice it to say malice raged and Hex took out the cap.

The final round was the key - EMPIRE needed a tie to stay in the tournament (and pray for eS to stomp Hex in the next round) - and in an absolutely fucking dramatic turn of events, they began capping C with literally 2s left in the map, 5 people sitting on the point taking it to overtime. Vent was ecstatic, people shouting FUCK YES and EMPIRE looking to hold it - before some bastard managed to snake up the tower and pyro burn out the EMPIRE offense. As we watched the point slowly uncap itself (leading Hex to their 3-1 victory), the kind of depression that can only seep in when you've talked yourselves the fuck up and lost the world cup to French people permeated the team.

Good games to Hex, you guys outplayed us and deserved the win .

The future for EMPIRE is murky. As coach, Squiddy has always promoted a "rotational policy", and speculation is rife that changing up players on the day of the match cost us the win. Will he get the sack? Will frio just make man-love to him? Stay tuned for more DRAMA!

( malice)

[Revile]

Accurate writeup - would read again

[zeets]

"we got this guys, easy picking" tbh

[Spartak]

I have nfi about rotating players, imo there are only a couple of open slots left, the "core" guys have proved themselves and locked down certain roster spots.

[frio]

DRAMA unfolds as the triumvirate denies the "rotating player" policy. Will Graham "Spartak" Henry also get the sacks?

I'm guessing not, but if I were a betting man, I'd bet no.

[Dr Woohoo]

Originally Posted by LizzardFestations

Perhaps I'll write one next time, for now I'll quote approximately half to all of our players going into the second map:
"Someone pass the lube", actually I think he said "Can you guys plese use more loob" (although he is dyslexic so we'll let him off for his poor spelling :p)
gg

MAtch report:

[H]
Who's playing?

Ohhh Can't you cap while uber?

Who wants to be engineer?

We have 7, no we have 8, no 7, oh fuck it start anyway

Game over, good win 214... No, game is still going, we play through twice. What you mean the game is live? *looks around at other 6 guys trying to build a pyramid in respawn* I think we're playing guys

Game over this time gg 214. No, it goes for 30 minutes no matter how often we win. LOLz.. right everyone go sniper, no no pyro, no all engineer. lets just do them all one after the other *and there was much laughter and rejoicing.

Several of the H boys reported it was the most enjoyable arserogering they had ever had, and would cruise the 214 boyz again anytime.

Highlight of the night. 214 letting us have CP3 on granary ( I assume they wanted to practice fighting back from there) and us actually managing to win that round, proving that once you have CP3 a bunch of retarded blind parkinson ridden grannies with alzheimers can win the round

[werewight]

Hahaha I like this initiative... i'll do a quick 214 vs. Halo one.

---

This one started out with opinions divided on both how good the opposition were, and how shit granary was. We were checking out granary in the warmup while waiting for everyone, which was taking a while, and with an 8pm forum post by Infect saying he was the only one online, it set the tone for Halo's night.

Gravelpit was up first with us just waiting for Halo's slut *cue* EMPIRE squiddy has joined the game *gasp* but then he left and the game got underway with [tsw]kraze as their 8th attacker. They hit the 214 defence hard and nearly had point B at one stage until FireStorm flew in from out of fucking nowhere with an ubers attached and spammed the house, killing both their unfortunate i-just-used-my-ubers medics in a second before lolling on vent and calling "back to A werewight". 214 managed to reset after that and defended. Sniping happened.

On the flipside 214s first attack on B managed to get through Halo's defence and they never managed to regroup with A and C capped fairly soon after. Quite a few people thought the map was over after that and were calling for "the loob", which i thought was meant to mean 214 kept winning but the process was going to be easier (worst metaphor ever), but Halo actually capped out the next round, so who knows what they used the loob for. 214 capped again to make it 3-1 and the map was done.

When granary loaded up both teams were looking a little depleted. 214 had lost bill to a domestic, while Halo had lost more than 50% of their team... and their slut. We eventually started, with a few coming back and VILE Stimpy bolstering Halo's numbers to 7. This basically meant it was all 214 at cp3, and the spawn times were completely lol. BorgWarner the heavy then started complaining that he couldn't actually run fast enough to see anyone during each round, so got the nod to class change. 214 lost one (which most of us didnt notice) to make it 7v7 and suddenly *the enemy is capturing our control point*
"who's on defence?"
"err.."
"i'm running back as fast as I can"
"holy shit 2 of them"
"... scout"
"cap cap cap"
"seriously, how can one man be so retarded?"

VILE Stimpy then chirped up with a "hehe" and showed that even when theres only one of them, VILE still beats 214. The lead was quite large when bill returned to the fray, so he decided to play for Halo giving them the man advantage for the first time of the night. From then on it was paranoia city as bill went on a stab hunt.. and then his whole team did. I was on the container at cp3 when 6 spies suddenly appeared at the same time, all supposedly from my team, standing on the point not capping. Lol times basically. Good game Halo, perhaps you should recruit some more doods?

[jerm]

hardly initiative when it's been done for the past 5+years?

[Malks]

where abouts jerm?
OZF ?
woot woot.

[ppn]

Nice write up ww You forgot to mention the part where you going the wrong class on point C DIRECTLY LEAD to their only cap on grav.....
j/k

Originally Posted by jerm

hardly initiative when it's been done for the past 5+years?

fuck offfff

[GrAsShOpPeR]

Originally Posted by Dr Woohoo

MAtch report:

[H]
Who's playing?

Ohhh Can't you cap while uber?

Who wants to be engineer?

We have 7, no we have 8, no 7, oh fuck it start anyway

Game over, good win 214... No, game is still going, we play through twice. What you mean the game is live? *looks around at other 6 guys trying to build a pyramid in respawn* I think we're playing guys

Game over this time gg 214. No, it goes for 30 minutes no matter how often we win. LOLz.. right everyone go sniper, no no pyro, no all engineer. lets just do them all one after the other *and there was much laughter and rejoicing.

Several of the H boys reported it was the most enjoyable arserogering they had ever had, and would cruise the 214 boyz again anytime.

Highlight of the night. 214 letting us have CP3 on granary ( I assume they wanted to practice fighting back from there) and us actually managing to win that round, proving that once you have CP3 a bunch of retarded blind parkinson ridden grannies with alzheimers can win the round

was soo rofl!

[Crowbar]

Haha how'd I miss the DrWoohoo one, gw. Made me laugh.

S,HCOMBSR?

[HappyCamper]

Originally Posted by Malks

where abouts jerm?
OZF ?
woot woot.

ozf/chau/bodycount/digital warfare/barrys league

[Luse]

IPTvsTSW - A match review by {IPT}Fobski.

[ANt]

nice map review